As hard as it is to think about, our children will one day leave the nest. They will one day be responsible for their own well being. How have we prepared them for that?
My mom has always said, “Raise your children as if you will not always be around.” Incredible advice from a women who lost her mother in her late teen years. Rather we like it or not, we will not always be around, even if just in a circumstantial way. Our children must know the basics of life maintainence. You know, cooking, laundry, phones calls, etc. If we want our sweet offspring to thrive, they must first learn how to survive.
So here are a few tips to get you started:
Let them help
Wouldn’t you like a little help in the kitchen every now and then? A little assistance folding laundry at times? Help, just plain Help ? Well guess what? You have children! And most kiddos love to help. They especially love to be asked to join in. I know what you’re thinking, “Things just go faster when I take care of it myself.”. I totally get it! However, there is much to be valued in sharing responsibilities with your children. Whether or not they know it (or you know it) they are not simply born to consume. They must know how to do things in life. As inconvenient as it may seem at times, allowing children to help with tasks and chores prepares them to be productive adults. Ultimately, that’s what we would like to produce from our homes. The only way for this to be accomplished is for them to learn what we do on a daily basis before they leave our home. Don’t think of them helping as them being in the way, think of it as quality time of preparation and training. You will definitely Delight in what it produces!
Let them do what they can do
As cute and cuddly as your sweet babies are , your little people are very capable! I know they are your little bumpkin, but they have abilities that they have yet to let you see. The only way to see what their abilities are is to give them challenging things to do. Age appropriate of course. One of the most vital parts of training is when the trainer steps back and allows the trainee to actively do what it has been taught to do. Many times we do things for our children what they are very well capable of doing for themselves. After a while, if they are able and you don’t let them do it eventually they will decide they have no need to do it. And that’s how we end up with a world full of entitled child adults. So mama let me encourage you to move out of the way and let them do what they can do. And you can go sip on tea as you watch!
Leave them alone!
I know it’s hard to watch, even cringe-worthy, when you have told somebody what to do and they don’t do it the way that you would like it to be done. However, as a warrior Mama training and arrow to fly sometimes you just have to let go of the arrow so that it can hit the target. It may not hit the target the way you want it but as long as it makes mark, the job is done. Being critical of our children actually breaks down their confidence. So the best thing to do is to allow them to learn on their own and make mistakes that they can fix themselves. But at the end of the day if they have achieved the goal give them a pat on the back in an at-a-boy and they will get better with time.
Give them more than you think they can handle
So once you have finally given them what you are sure they are able to do, try new things with them that you are unsure if they are able to do. These are the best times for training and teaching. Not just for them but also for us. When we gave them more than we think they can handle sometimes they can surprise us and learn on their own and teach us that it’s okay to let go.
Train as you go about
While we’re on the subject of training, what would you say is the best time teach? In my opinion, the best time for teaching is while you’re already in the process of doing. That way they can watch what you’re doing and learn from you visually and be engaged in the process. Also their minds will configure new ways to get the job done. When you train while you are already in the middle of doing, it doesn’t carve out any extra time from your day and you kill two birds with one stone (Obviously not literally). Kids love being involved in what Mommy is doing so you might as well make it a learning experience. It’s a win-win!
Ok warrior momma, start sharpening and shooting those arrows out into the world!
Love, J.E. Berry